My heart belongs to...

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there's plenty of room at both ends.

Loves means trust, share, tolerance and friendship. Do you know that?

Today, I'm not going to discuss about marriage (I'm not married yet-- I'm still too young -, so I don't know so much about marriage life-- even though I'm writing about it in my fiction), but I'm going to touch about love.
Yep~! L.O.V.E. One of the most common words in the world. Everyone knows it. Even an innocent child knows what is LOVE.

However, do people really understand what is love?

Most people mistaken it as sacrifice. Yes, they do say that 'I love him because he's the only one who can bring me happiness! And he keeps my heart. Yes, I'm soooo not going to leave him!' Well, I have to say that those people can talk the talk, but they can't walk the walk. In the end, the guy leaves her and she suffers. Pfft...

Personally, I think love is too abstract. I don't know how to describe it. Not exactly, that's it. All I know is when I hear his laughter, my face creases into a broad smile. I open myself, let out all my emotion trapped inside my heart when he asks me, "Are you okay?" I willingly listen to him when he tells me a story. I love teasing him, making him jealous (but not too much). I love to be embraced by his beautiful dark eyes. And I like him because he makes me love him.

To make it simple, love make me feel safe, and yet vulnerable, too.

Why I said vulnerable too?

Because when I fall for him, I let him keep my heart. And I'm afraid he will crush it.

However, he gave back half of my heart and gave me half of his heart too. (Not literally)

One day, he asked me, "What would you do when our relationship is not working?"

I asked him, "Why you ask such a thing?"

"Pure curiosity. I'm afraid if fate is too cruel and makes us separate forever"

"You mean death"

He didn't answer, which I took it as 'yes'.

"You know, you take it too serious, dude" I just brushed off the topic. He remained silent for awhile before replying.

"If I die early, then I let you find another guy better than me"

I was so shocked back then. Then, I realized why he gave back half of my heart and let me keep half of his heart.

Because he doesn't want me to suffer if death really do us part.
He doesn't want me to be a soulless soul, wandering around without my heart.
He wants me to be happy even if he's not here anymore.

And, yes, I fall for him again and again because of that.

I'm not saying that he's a romantic guy or a romeo (in fact, he's hopeless about romantic stuff!).

But, can someone really say to the person that he/she loves that 'honey, you can find someone else if our relationship is not working.'

Probability to say it= 0.000000000000000001 (but, there are people out there that really can say it-- respect!)

It's a fact! Many people stalk their partner, control their partner and even worst, they abuse their partner!

Believe or not, according to to the U.S. Department of Justice, 49 % of nearly 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members between 1998 and 2002 were committed against spouse.


Why this is happening? It's because they want to conquer the partner's whole heart.

Please, stop!

Protect your beloved, care your beloved and love your beloved.
 
And those people who let your partner to keep your whole heart, take the half back and keep his/her! With this, both of you won't hurt each other. 

Because love means sharing, protection and tolerance.  

Ja ne~

1/2 of your heart + 1/2 of his/her heart = 1 heart

P/S: Sorry because of the bad context. I just realize that I almost went out of the context. First time~

Because of him

It's been ages I don't post anything in my blog (Hey, can't blame me; I was very busy!) So many things had happened in my life back then.

I went back to my hometown and celebrated Hari Raya Aidilfitri. My village is a rural area, so I could not use Internet at all. And when I had announced about it to my fanfic readers, they were like, "Nooo!!! I'm dying wanting to read you fiction!!!" Hahahahaha... Seriously, reading their reviews made me smile like an idiot for the whole day.

It's a chocolate!! So cute!!!

My cousin and his family

At  Kabong (who knows where is it???)

My uncle's house! Nice design!!

I thought I won't see this game anymore... and yet, POOF! It's in my hand!

My only queen of heart and her granddaughter

PEACE!!!

She's so adorable. Can't I hug her?

Sometimes my brain suddenly went crazy. I started making a gift for my beloved one. A teddy bear for him! I did it myself! (I mean, the decoration, not the teddy bear-- I suck at sewing!) And I'm really proud of myself! (Che!)

And a few weeks after Hari Raya, my beloved gave me a ring! (FINALLY!!!!) I was really happy!!! Felt like floating in the clouds!!! Walaoweyh! And it's so beautiful!!! So, I'm officially his girlfriend!!! Yay!!!!!!! (Sorry, can't upload the picture here-- it's confidential!!)

Yep~! So many had happened. Smile, tears, laughter... I, once, hated my life, my current path. But, because of him, I've changed. Now, I'm be able to laugh again, to smile like before. I won't let myself to regret the path that my parents have chosen for me. I know, it's not my dream, but, hey, just face it! It's your destiny! If it wasn't because of my parents wanted me to study here, I won't be able to meet him. Now, I just want to strive for success. Because if it's really my fate to not be able to pass, then, I won't have any regrets anymore. Because I know I've tried! The next exam's wave is coming in one month! So, prepare yourself!!!!!!!!

Ja ne~

Many, many, many O.C~

Playing with brush~ Reeeeeaaally hard though~

A BRIDE~

I don't know why but out of sudden I felt like drawing a bride... Kekekekeke.... Nonsense~

A sketch... Took me 2 hours to draw it....

Complete!!!

A gift for him~

I went to a shopping complex nearby with my brother and his cute girlfriend (hey, when I said cute, that means reeeally cute!). So, I went to S&J, one of my favorite stores. I saw a nice jar, but I decided to buy a jar at Home Decor next store (it just cost me RM 5.00). Then, I bought some stuff from S&J. Other are mine. Hahahaha... And I really enjoyed making them!

 Cannot see the head~

 See, Beruang, I made you roses just like what you asked! Satisfied?

 Small note for ya~

For the side~~

So, how? Nice?? See ya next time~

ONCE is ENOUGH!

Annoying, annoying, annoying, ANNOYING!!! I'm tired of her lecture!!! Really tired!! She said it once, then it is ENOUGH!!! MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! DAMMIT! I'm... I'm... SICK of it!!! She was the one who decided it for me! She didn't allow me to go for what I really interested of! She was the first person who said 'NO' to me- And now, she is the one who doubts me!!! DAMMIT!!!

So what if I did post my passion on FB? Hey, those arts took me days! And I did it not continuously!!! Even nowadays, I spent more time for studies that literally killing me instead of drawing arts which are my heaven for me! My grades are picking up, even though they aren't happening drastically! Now, I'm reaching same level like others!!!!

In fact, being an engineer has never been my dream! Never in my life I said I want to be an engineer. When I was young, I never told anyone that 'When I grow up, I want be an engineer, so that blablabla...'. NEVER!!! I kept saying that 'Oh, an artist!!!' Then, she pulled her face!

Hey, this is MY LIFE we're talking about! MY PATH!! Not YOURS!!! Your path has been decided, so live with it! Don't use my life to achieve what COULDN'T achieve before!!!

DAMN! I HATE YOU!!!

TRANSFORM!!!

She has changed!! Seriously, from a cute-cute and timid-timid girl, now she has become a princess!!! Wow!!! Never in my life, I'd see that she'd like that. I mean, it is good to see her changing. But, it seems so drastic!!! Can you imagine, before this she has a fine hair, then this year, suddenly she changed her hairstyle. I thought I heard she wanted to leave it naturally. Well, then I just let it slipped. And now, she wears contact lens. Wait up~ I thought she don't like it. I guess it becomes 'didn't like it'.

I really don't understand. Why she changed so much? My friends are not princess-wanna-be. We are fine. Not 'fashion victims' either. Of course, sometimes we'd scream like hell when we heard 'SALE!!!'. We are girls after all. Also, we are students. So, we don't have so much money to spend and sale is the right time. But, it doesn't mean that we'd change our fashion drastically.

I can't deny that nowadays I have become more feminine. But, hey, come on~ I can't stay act like boys forever, right? But, I didn't go and changed my clothes. I didn't wear contact lens (I tried once before, and I hated it!). Dang~

Some people claim that because of someone. And I know that someone. In my opinion (sounds like an essay sentence), if you want to change yourself for someone, make sure it is worth! 

To that someone:

I don't mind about your relationship. And I don't even ever think to destroy. I have my own life, you have yours~ I have someone to take care of, and you have yours too. So, please. She has changed so much because of you, so please take the responsibility and take care of her heart and feelings. And you can start it by being honest about your relationship with her. You know how much I hate it when I see you guys are together for almost every breath, every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week and every month!!! (I'm exaggerating, aren't I?) But, please, you get it, aren't you? It is tiring seeing you so lovey-dovey and yet haven't declared!! Gosh, do you want me to teach you how? It's easy, just go and find her (no need to do so since you guys are always together) and confess it!! EASY!!! Or you don't want to take any responsibility anymore? Coward!! What is your problem huh? WHY??? I want to know!!! I really am!!! Come and see me if you've got any problems with me!!! I'm tired of this!!!